December 17^th, 2000; a baby boy is born in Madras, India. The gasps of joy echoed throughout the small Chennai hospital. A new and adorable son is born to Ullasini Sahoo and Mahendra Kar. An eager five year old waited to see her new baby brother. “Can I hold him first?” She asks with such enthusiasm. The happiness in her eyes was contagious. The short doctor in a white uniform comes out, holding the new born baby. The little girl let out a scream of delight as she rushed to the innocent infant. Her autumn brown eyes widen, as she tugged on her father’s shirt. The doctor handed the baby to the tall man, known to be this infant’s father. A smile quickly appears on his face; what a beautiful baby have I brought into this world, he thought. His thoughts came to an abrupt halt as a little child, whose eyes were filled with wonder, tugged on his shirt, asking to hold the baby. The little girl scurried to the green plastic chair, she soon found a tiny baby on her lap, and it was her new baby brother. The little boy opened his eyes for the first time, on his sister’s lap. She was immediately filled with the joy of the world. The baby boy soon got a name, Ayush Kar. And his sister; Ayesha Kar, loved him more and more every day.

            Well, that was the fairy tale start to the rocky life of my brother, Ayush Kar. All was calm at first, until it happened. A couple of months after Ayush was born, my whole family; Mom, Dad, Ayush & me, moved back to America. I was starting 1^st grade in MacAfee Elementary School, I was so excited. Ayush was only 4 or 5 months when he came to America. He grew up so fast, and we didn’t even notice the symptoms. As a child, he was extremely hyper, running up and down the stairs, banging into walls and ALWAYS eating sugar. That was my fault because I was the one who taught him how to eat a lollipop and since then he was hooked. Oops!

            My parents started seeing something wrong with him when he was about to turn two. Ayush didn’t give us eye contact, nor was speaking any words. He wouldn’t talk, at all; it was all baby talk. Mom and Dad took him to the doctor. They said he has autism. And that’s when it all started.

            The day I found out that my brother had autism, the first thing I said was “What’s autism?” My parents sat me down and explained it all. I ended up crying for 2 days. It was hard for me at first, but then I got used to it…well, not really. I found it hard to bring my brother to public places. Restaurants and parties were out of the question for our family. I missed out on so many outings and parties, I really hated it. Ayush would go out of control in public places. He didn’t know how to talk so we wouldn’t know what to do. It’s not like he could tell us what is wrong…which was pretty depressing.

            Boy was it hard to adjust with him, People constantly staring at us, his random outbursts and his constant need to get attention. It left me un-attended to. It felt like no one cared about me, not even my own family. It was Ayush this, Ayush that, Ayush everything! The only time I got some attention was when I got yelled at for treating him badly, misbehaving with him or yelling at him. I always thought it was unfair, but as I got older I understood why they did that. It started making sense, I didn’t mind after that…well, not exactly. I was bound to have some hard feelings against him, it’s a brother, sister thing.

            The one thing I hated most is how people would stare at us; it was like they’ve never experienced something like that before. They were reckless; they even dared to whisper and point. The staring isn’t as bad as the pointing and where we got the pointing was in India. That was really bad because I thought they would know better. One time, we were on a train ride and my brother and I had really bad jetlag. I tried to go to sleep while my brother cried, all night. My mom had to keep him near the train door through out night; she didn’t even get a wink of sleep. In the morning, the people whose compartment was right across from ours, complained right to our face. They sat there and talked about us, I really felt like saying “Hello! We’re right here, you know!” It was disgusting to see how they won’t take a second to see that my brother is different, he can’t understand. They didn’t take a second to see the dark circles under my mother’s eyes or the annoyed smirk on my face. They just sat there and went on. It was just one night of suffering for them; we have to live with it every single day. I bet if they even attempted to live a day in my mother’s shoes; they wouldn’t survive. What happened to compassion, solidarity and caring, what India is known for?

            My parents have been through so much. It’s amazing how they haven’t gone crazy yet! I knew from the start that when my parents pass away, it would be my turn to take over everything. There’s a whole family of responisibilities waiting for me in India. I also get the responsibility of my brother. I’ve been watching and understanding how my parents handle him (especially my mom); I’m getting myself ready for what lies ahead. My mom has been working so hard, she’s been holding both of her children up, mostly by herself. Not that my dad doesn’t help, but he’s at office, helping us financially. He’s busy and we know why, so it’s unfair to say that my mom does all the work. He helps on weekends by taking my brother grocery shopping which both of them (for some odd reason) enjoy doing. It’s their bonding time; my brother runs to the counter for candy while my dad is following and I’m left there laughing with a trolley of vegetables. (My Dad, brother and I look pretty darn crazy at the store!) We work together as a family to get through our day to day life as easily as possible.

            Some people don’t notice that having a brother like Ayush isn’t always a bad thing. Most have pity and sympathy for us, when they shouldn’t because they are truly missing out. It’s actually very exciting and fun! Everyday is like an adventure, but some of those are not as good as the others. My brother and I have our ups and downs because he has random temper tantrums. Sometimes, he’ll hit me out of the blue and then we get into fights, but it’s all good. We end up hugging and playing together two minutes later. Despite his autism, we still have a normal brother and sister relationship. We bite, scratch, and hit, but we also hug, play, and love. He is so such fun sometimes. He has his “moments” and they tend to be very enjoyable. To have a brother like Ayush is something so unique, that I never wished to have a normal brother.          

            It’s been 7 years since he was born, 5 since he was diagnosed. It’s been a hard and long journey so far, but we’re keeping hope. Autism is a very complex disorder, with no cure yet, not even in sight. We’re keeping our faith that someday, he will improve. It was confusing at first; I really couldn’t comprehend what autism is, how it happens and what causes it. It took me a while to get what it is, but it only took me 2 weeks to see what autism was doing to my brother. Sometimes I felt sorry, sometimes I felt jealous and sometimes I felt like running away from life. But after growing up, Ayush has made a place in my heart. He’s a really special kid and I know that I’m really fortunate to have a brother like him and having an opportunity to help someone who cannot help himself. After 7 years of this journey of me growing up with him, Ayush has become my love, my life and the world that I understand.

            When my mother was pregnant with me, my parents told me that the doctors said that I would be abnormal. Apparently, I turned out totally normal. I can recall what the doctors said for my brother; he would be just fine. He got positive to everything, while I got negative. Ironic with all scientific and experts’ comments, how I was SUPPOSED to be abnormal and how my brother was SUPPOSED to be normal…

            It makes me wonder a lot when I think about the times before my brother was born. The times back when I was the only child were so much easier, simpler. I never dreamed that I would ever become the sister of a boy like Ayush. The flashbacks of me before Ayush joined us made me think. What would my life be if I didn’t have him? Boring? Bland?  I’m extremely thankful that I was gifted by god with a brother like Ayush. He’s one of a kind and completely unique. There’s no other kid like him in this whole universe and I appreciate the fact that I have the coolest, most adorable brother in the universe.